The Adventures of Deep Kick Girl Down Under

Media Whores!

2009-11-06T22:01:00.000+11:00

I take back everything nice I've ever said about Jon and Kate. I used to think they were kind of cool because they actually talked about how tough it was to be parents, especially parents of eight small children. They seemed kind of "normal".

Well, obviously they weren't and aren't.

What they are is media whores. MEDIA WHORES. Especially Jon.

Since their split they have been continuously attacking each other in the celebrity media. Yesterday when I was flicking around I caught Jon and his new 13 year old girlfriend on Entertainment Tonight, with the dramatic voiceover saying something like "Have they really broken up?". What the...? To his credit Jon was looking mightily sheepish, as he should. He should be looking as sheepish as it is possible for one human being to look. Because he is a major fuckwit.

Pull your heads in Gosselins. Have a little dignity, people.

Do you know who I am?

2009-11-03T12:14:00.000+11:00

Kathy,

It is my pleasure to inform you that on September 24th, 2009 your information was reviewed and accepted for inclusion in the 2009/2010 edition of our registry.

Strathmore's Whos Who each year, recognizes and selects key executives, professionals and organizations in all disciplines and industries for outstanding business and professional achievements.

This recognition is shared by those who have reached a distinguished level of success in their chosen profession.

Please take a moment to complete the invitation by clicking on the link below. We ask that you complete it carefully, as it will be reviewed by our editorial department.

http://www.formdesk.com/pgn6/STR

** Please complete the online link by October 10th.

Strathmore's Whos Who is pleased to inform you that there are no fees or dues to be included in the publication.

On behalf of the CEO and our esteemed staff, we wish you continued success.

Sincerely,

J. Edward Simmons
Vice President, Research Division

Strathmore's Whos Who
26 Bond St.
Westbury NY 11590
______________________________________________________________

This arrived in my InBox a moment ago. I get similar emails on a weekly basis.

All I can say is that these people simply recognise greatness when they come across it. Enough said.

My old boyfriend

2009-11-01T08:01:00.001+11:00

Speaking of perving, did you see my old Sydney Swans boyfriend Ryan O'Keefe on Celebirty MasterChef last week?

Words (almost) fail me. What a lucky lucky girl his wife must be (BBBBIIIIITTTTTCCCHHHH!!!!!)...

Not only is he a tall, gorgeous Adonis like male who plays (generally fantastic, lately not so good) AFL at the top level for the best team but he makes his own pasta, from scratch. My GOD, if he likes Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain he would be the absolutely perfect male specimen.

Anyway, he didn't win (it was rigged!) but he did win my heart all over again.

Wrong

2009-11-01T07:54:00.000+11:00

I know it's wrong. Very wrong.

But a girl has eyes. You can't expect me to sit through my daughter's swimming class with my eyes closed every week, now can you?

Is it my fault that they seem to recruit their young male swimming instructors from a male modelling agency?

Who knew I was going to turn into a dirty old lady perv in my later years?

Now that you mention it, the signs have been there for a long time. Sad.

Mamma Mia... I want to go again, my my...

2009-11-01T07:50:00.000+11:00

I want to see the stage version of Mamma Mia every day for the rest of my life!

I am not exaggerating.

I loved every single wonderous, joyous moment of it yesterday and I would have been ready to come back and see the evening performance last night.

Some might think it a cheesy, tiresome, musical attack on the senses (I'm talking about you DB), a musical equivalent of a bag of Twisties and just as good for you, but I found it a little slice of heaven.

The beautiful simple set design, the delicious costumes, the actors (especially Lara Malcahy as Rosie) and, of course, the songs. Aaaahhhh, the songs. [It is worth noting that The Winner Takes It All sound so different to the ears of a middle aged woman when sung by a middle aged woman. What a heart squeezing song it is.]

The last bit. The last bit is pure fun. Jumping up and dancing and singing with the cast. Floating out of the auditorium on a cloud of joy and adrenalin.

Thank you for the music, indeed.

The other woman

2009-10-29T18:47:00.000+11:00

Last night as Marianna was falling asleep she sat up and said "Mum, when will we visit Nury?".

She often talks and asks about her birthmum but this time it shook me up a little. There was something about her tone and expression which made me wobble. Usually I'm very cool and unemotional about these conversations. I've always thought I am comfortable with the idea of my children's birthmothers. They are part of our family, whichever way I want to emotionally deal with them.

But last night I felt an emotional tug I hadn't experienced before. I can't quite put my finger on it; what it was and why it turned up last night, unannounced.

He's not the Messiah...

2009-10-29T14:12:00.000+11:00

I am wondering today if anyone who voted for KRudd and his Labour Party believing them to be the great white hope/s still clings to any bit of optimism.

If this current refugee situation doesn't crystilise their total sameness and lack of real political balls as compared to the much maligned previous Liberal government than I wonder what will make people wake up.

It's pretty obvious I've never been a fan of Labour, though to be honest that doesn't make me a big supporter of the opposition, I just am by default. I find that there is little real definition in politics. The humanitarian and social issues which are of concern to me don't have much of a voice amongst either side of politics. So I generally loathe all politicans and what the game of politics turns people into.

As I was driving into work today I was just thinking that if some people thought that KRudd was going to offer some sort of "softer", possibly more "human/e" alternative, than they must be mightily disappointed right now. I think I had some small, vague hope too. But the refugee ping pong game continues. Whichever way you look at things, what's happening to those people right now can not be viewed as a humanitarian solution. I have conflicting feelings about refugees, especially the ones we are watching on our news right now, but that topic needs it's own post at another time. All I know is I feel sad and helpless when I see those women clutching their children. How would it feel to be that desperate? I truly can't imagine but in my gut I know that in a parallel universe that could be me and my children.

Boy with a Barbie

2009-10-29T13:51:00.000+11:00

I'm listening to Ben Lee's The Rebirth of Venus quite a bit lately.

I really love Boy with a Barbie. Right now I would say it's my favourite song off the album. [Is album an old fashioned word? What do you young people call these things now?]

Not only does it have a wonderful 80s-ish electronica beat but I love the sentiment.

Speaking of sentiment, I Love Pop Music, is also a gorgeous little song. While he does his best to ruin this one for me by throwing in reference to the Global Warming Hoax and also featuring the highly annoying Missy Higgins (who, I have to admit, sounds rather good on this song) I can't help but love it and it's message.

As always, Ben manages to put together songs which make me feel good and reflect my natural optimism about life. There's nothing better than seat bopping to one of Ben Lee's CDs in the car on a Saturday morning.

Try to tell that to the young people of today and they won't believe you...

2009-10-29T13:28:00.001+11:00

Do you remember the Four Yorkshiremen skit? God, I love that skit. Classic and brilliant Monty Python.

A couple of week's ago on Richard Glover's Thank God It's Friday, a comedy current affairs hour which can be found on Sydney 702 Local Radio on Friday afternoons, Richard asked some of his guests to do a modern re-write of the skit and Subby Valentine came up with an absolute ripper.

If you click HERE and then fast forward to 13:45 minutes into the podcast you will go directly to the bit which made laugh so much I almost burst a gasket. Otherwise listen to the whole program, I find them a weekly treat and download each week's show via iTunes.

2009-10-23T06:27:00.002+11:00

One thing I noticed while watching the tribute to Don Lane last night was how REAL the stars looked way back when.

They actually had crooked, discoloured teeth, wrinkles, pores, frizzy hair. You couldn't possibly let a person like that on television these days, they'd scare people.

Alan Alda's teeth were positively yellow, shock horror!

The bits of interviews they showed were so entertaining. People used to be able to say and talk about anything. They were able to let "themselves" through and actually interact with their interviewer in a real way.

Imagine that. Twenty, thirty, forty years ago people had to have some ability, some semblence of talent to be called entertainers. They had to have some personality (as opposed to being a personality, which these days is often an oxymoron).

They were able to take part in a television interview without having every question wrangled and edited by their 23 media coaches and image consultants.

Watching the show last night made me realise how different the media is these days, how homogonised and diluted and controlled. The stars are trotted around to promote their films, tv shows, books with well rehearsed and pre-prepared amusing quips which show nothing of themselves. They are botoxed and blow dried within an inch of their lives, so that we see a glossy, airbrushed version of a human being.

I'm definitely one for progress (you can't stop it you know) but I really wonder if we're going in the right direction (like NSW, side joke for JB, sorry) with all this bs. What do you think?

P.S. Rest in peace Don Lane, you really seemed like a top bloke.

P.P.S Rest in peace Pop (Big Jay's grandad). He passed away yesterday, exactly two weeks after Nan.

2009-10-21T07:49:00.003+11:00

Since I love a MEME (but enough about you, let's talk about ME!) I'm taking up Kath's Food Fetish meme challange.

1) What's your #1 comfort food?

HOT CHIPS. Without a doubt. There's nothing I crave more when I'm tired and/or stressed than a mountain of hot chips, preferrably the chunky crunchy ones with extra chicken salt (how do they make salt out of chicken?).

2) If you were stranded on a desert island what 5 foods would you want to have with you to survive on?

A never ending supply of above mentioned hot chips, prawns, oysters (natural only), avocado and watermelon.

3) What are your signature dishes (what dishes are you known for making)?

1) Pavlova Roll (most people who come to our place for summer bbqs are subjected to some version of my pav roll - strawberries inside, chocolate shavings on top or mango inside, strawberries on top or peaches inside, toasted almonds on top, the possibilities are endless).

2) Chocolate Buttermilk Cake (not sure if I'm "known for it" but it something I make regularly and it's yummy).

3) Banana Muffins (I am constantly using up old bananas by making muffins, usually they include some frozen raspberries and pecans and are made with yoghurt or buttermilk, so they are reasonably healthy. I tend to take a batch to the office most weeks.)

4) Everything in the fridge winter soup (I have been working on an always changing meat and veg winter soup which Big Jay loves. It involves throwing in whatever cooked meat is floating about - e.g. leftover roast beef or lamb - with a huge amount of vegies, a tin of tomatoes, stock and a handful of barley or small pasta, some herbs, chili and whatever else looks appealing at the time.)

5) Asian-style Wombok Salad (a gorgeous Asian coleslaw type salad made with thinly sliced Wombok, lots of other salad veg, toasted cashews, sometimes those crunchy noodle things and a dressing made with soy sauce, sesame oil, lemon or lime juice, a little olive or macadamia nut oil. This even works as a main meal with the addition of some marinated, cooked, sliced chicken thigh fillets.)

4) It's Friday night you don't know what to cook, you opt for?

If I don't want to cook on a Friday night it's generally take away - Thai or (the newly discovered) Crust Pizza, occasionally a bbq chook and chips. Otherwise, bacon and eggs - you can't beat this breakfast classic for a quick and yummy dinner.

5) What's your ultimate food weakness?

The previously mentioned hot chips. I love fried chicken too (why are the good things always the bad things?) and have been known to be partial to KFC's Hot & Spicy (love/hate relationship really).

6) What food can you soooo not eat?

Generally I would eat, or try, pretty much anything. I used to hate celery but now will eat it (cooked) happily. I'm not a fan of peas, but will eat them if they are put in front of me. Tend to stay away from the usual suspects like tripe and haven't tried the chicken's feet at yum cha yet (but would do so if someone else was game). Hate, hate, hate the buckwheat my mum would semi-regularly present as a sidedish when I was growing up; just the thought of it makes me feel ill.

7) You need a drink, you grab a ...

Love a Caffeine Free Diet Coke with ice and slice of lemon (or normal Diet Coke if it's around lunch time, otherwise I won't sleep that night). Love an icy cold glass of water. Love a really good chocolate milkshake or banana smoothie (like Big Jay ordered at Cucina Viscontini, our local Italian deli/cafe, last Sunday).

8) What's the most decadent dish you've ever had?

The most decadent meal I've ever had was an anniversary dinner with Big Jay at Quay restaurant a couple of years ago. They do a degustation set menu and every dish was amazing, both visually and taste-fully (??). It was a super expensive meal but worth every cent. We had a table overlooking the Sydney Opera House and Circular Quay (my favourite view in the world). I'll never forget that night or that meal.

9) What's your favourite type of food?

Not exactly sure how to answer that. Seafood, as a "type" of food would be my overall favourite. However, I would choose yum cha is my favourite "style" of food. Since most yum cha dishes contain seafood the two things do overlap, I guess.

10) Favourite dish?

Mud crab, stir fried with ginger and shallots, or maybe a good, not too spicy Singapore stir fried crab. I love crab. It's something I so rarely eat but I really love it, especially when it's fresh and beautifully cooked (i.e. not overcooked). Very fond memories of trying different varieties of crab at Joe's Crab Shack in LA, both times we visited in 2000 and 2005.

Got to run now, Part 2 coming up later on today.

2009-10-16T12:54:00.002+11:00

While we're talking about when good chefs go bad let's talk about that arsehole Neil Perry.

I almost choked on my tea yesterday when I was forwarded this little nugget of comedy gold.

I particularly like how Perry says:

"I'm 52 and I'm over customers that don't understand what we do".

This is particularly hilarious because when my sister sent Perry an email to complain about the disgraceful evening she had there a few years ago his reply included a comment about how they "didn't understand what he was trying to do". I don't know Neil, I think we're all clear on what you're trying to do: be a pretentious wanker. No, really, we're all on the same page there.

Also:

"She didn't know how to complain and that turned me into a person who didn't know how to respond."

Don't you love it! Obviously the woman hadn't read The Official Guide to Complaining by HRH Neil Perry. How dare she assume she can just go about complaining about poor food and bad service when she doesn't know how to do it properly. The gall!

One thing is clear from this article and from my sister's experience, Neil Perry is a pompous ass who doesn't understand that the customers who pay his inflated menu prices are always right, even when he might not necessarily agree with them. How about a little humility you egotistical prick?

2009-10-16T12:21:00.003+11:00

Let's talk about what's making my blood boil right now.

You know I'm a MasterChef fan. I enjoy the original English version. I enjoyed the first series of the Oz version (though I have issues with the production styling, which annoys the bejesus out of me). Now I'm enjoying the Celebrity version (bring on Ryan O'Keefe, COME ON).

What I'm hating is the Coles ads featuring MC judge (and apparently top class restauranteur) George Calombaris. You just know the man has never stepped foot in a Coles and it is so very disingenuous of him to spruik the less than wonderful "fresh" food sold by Coles.

Don't get me wrong. I shop at Coles, it's a decent enough supermarket. But I only get some fruit and veg there if no other option exists. Most of the time their produce is limp and tired and just plain yuck. Don't get me started on the state of their lettuce selection.

So for someone like George, who to me represents the best of what food has to offer, to stand up for what Coles sells us is really insulting.

The by-line for the ads and on the Coles website is "Take a fresh look at Fresh with George Calombaris" by I think it should be "We're taking the piss and so is George Calombaris".

2009-10-16T12:06:00.003+11:00

I don't get the whole Andre Rieu thing. I really, really don't get it. At all. In any way.

But this. THIS. This is a whole new level of bizarro as far as I am concerned.

If I was offered free tickets to see this spectacle of horror or the choice of having an anvil dropped on my foot I would choose the later. After all physical injuries will heal, but the mental scars can stay with you forever.

2009-10-16T11:59:00.002+11:00

Why does hearing Tiny Dancer always make me want to cry?

Do you remember the scene from Almost Famous, where they are all singing Tiny Dancer on the tour bus? Hurts me just to think about it.

2009-10-15T18:45:00.003+11:00

I think we may have created a monster.

We took the kids to see Wicked a couple of weeks ago. It was fantastic. I'm not a huge fan of that sort of music (Rocky Horror is more my style) but the story and the costumes and set were amazing.

Anyway, we bought the kids the soundtrack and I downloaded it onto their iPods. They have both been listening to it constantly.

Marianna is right into it. She walks around singing "No-one loves THE WICKED!!!!" at the top of her lungs. It cracks me up!

2009-10-15T18:37:00.002+11:00

Conversation with Marianna:

Me: "Marianna do you want lasagne for dinner?"

M: "NO!"

Me: "I can make you some eggs if you like."

M: "I want eggs!"

Me: "If you'd like me to cook you some eggs can you please say: "Mum, I'd like some eggs please." "

M: "Mum, I'd like eggs."

Me: "You need to say please. That's the polite thing to do."

M: "I can't."

Me: "You can't do what?"

M: "I can't say it." (Eyes welling up with tears.)

Me: "You can't say "please"?

M: Nods.

Me: "Why not?"

M: (Bursting into tears.) "Because it hurts my tongue."

Interesting. I think she must have the same condition as The Fonz. You know how he couldn't ever say "Sorry".

2009-10-09T12:27:00.003+11:00

Is anyone else totally fed up with the media eating itself? You know, the whole Kyle Sandilands bullshit beat up, now the Hey Hey It's Saturday storm in a teacup.

What is happening? Why is it happening? More importantly, what have we become?

Am I too cynical to think all this shit is just a case of all publicity being good publicity? Are we just seeing the facade of the PR machine working double time to keep things in the media; thus ensuring us media consuming shmucks are constantly talking about things which, to be frank, I think we are too intelligent (or not!) to keep on discussing.

I'm really not sure if there is any genuine interest in the political correctness aspect of all this. Does anyone truly care who Kyle Sandilands upsets or is just fodder for the hungry mill? Is the Hey Hey discussion about Harry Conick's seemingly genuine discomfort or is it at all about racism or is it just an unexpected avenue for making people talk about a show which is nothing more than a nostalgic wank? Why have these stories continued to be featured as actual news stories in prime time bulletins?

I don't know about you but I'm baffled, annoyed and downright over it.

2009-10-08T20:48:00.002+11:00

Big Jay's grandma died today. That's his birthmum's mum from Grafton.

I'm glad. She's at peace now and not suffering any more. That's a good thing.

When someone dies at a ripe old age, especially when they have been ravaged by the pain and indignity which old can bestow, I can't see it as a sad or bad thing.

I think we should celebrate their lives, be happy for the time they had. I don't understand mourning, in the sad sense, at this particular time.

Rest in peace, Big Jay's grandma.

2009-10-08T19:14:00.002+11:00

I'm really on a roll today. First the KitchenAid, then the gym.

I've joined Fernwood gym. You know, the one for women only. I've finally become one of those women. Who knew.

I drive past this one just about every day as it is near Marianna's day care centre and only a couple of minute's drive from work.

Something about it looks inviting.

So today I got online and had a look at the classes they have and dropped in after work to have a chat and a look around.

It seems like exactly what I want and need; clean, quiet, peaceful; women who don't look like they break balls just for kicks; a total lack of young blokes posing in front of mirrors.

I don't want be unrealistic. I just want to lose 3-5 kgs and tone up. I want to feel fitter, firmer. The year since the hysterectomy has seen my body soften more than ever. I guess that's nature and I'm fine with that. But at 41 I don't want to fall apart altogether, I don't want to get old before my time.

They are offering a "free" personal training session once a week until Christmas - so I figure I can fit in about 8 or so between now and then (I'm officially joining from the 19th as Big Jay is away in Perth for the next week). I've never worked with a PT before and I'm really hoping it will be a positive experience.

Mostly I'm looking forward to the Pump classes and a spot of Yoga, I used to really love those way back when...

2009-10-08T18:15:00.004+11:00

I'm giddy with excitement, happiness and a little sick at the thought of it.

Today I've bitten the bullet and purchased something I've been dreaming about for quite some time:

Yes, it's a KitchenAid Artisan in Almond Cream. A truly beautiful piece of kitchen machinery.

My crappy little hand held device (no, not that hand held device) has finally kicked the bucket and today an email arrived announcing a super special at my favourite online kitchen stuff store (www.evertenonline.com.au - if you need top quality kitchen gear at really good prices - no, I don't get a commission but I should). So I took it as a sign from, well, someone...

I've ordered it and with any luck it will be delivered tomorrow or Monday. Woohoo!

The bad news is the price, $649 on super special. Yes, that's a frightening amount of money for something which basically mixes things. But I'm looking at it from a few angles: it's an heirloom item; it should last until I'm of retirement age (at least the current retirement age, possibly not the new one); it's retro good looks will make it a gorgeous addition to my kitchen; it will make all those pavlova rolls I make for summer BBQs so much easier; it simply makes me happy.

2009-10-07T11:09:00.002+11:00

I've been wanting to verbalise my thoughts on the Roman Polanski drama but haven't quite got around to it. Then I came across THIS on a blog I don't read often enough. It puts my thoughts, more or less, into the words I haven't had time to type.

If you have any interest in the subject take a moment to read this post.

Otherwise here is a brief synopsis: Roman Polanski is a major creep. He bad, must pay.

2009-10-02T15:53:00.003+10:00

I bought a pair of these Rockport (Darcy) shoes yesterday. This picture doesn't do them justice.

To be frank I love them, I really, really love them. If it was legal I would marry them.

Not only are they gorgeous, patriotic (country of choice, colours fit a few) but they are so comfortable I refused to take them off at the shop and wore them home. I would have slept in them had I a more understanding husband. They are light as a feather and I feel like I'm walking on a cloud wrapped around a marshmallow when I wear them.

I know that Rockport are an old people's brand but I can live with that. If the shoe fits, etc.

2009-09-30T18:52:00.002+10:00

This morning I heard on the news that the Lane Cove Tunnel is up for sale. They are saying not enough, nowhere near enough, people are using it. They can't understand why.

It's a nice tunnel. I like it. I don't think there's anything wrong with the tunnel per se.

I think what's wrong is that the people of this city, especially the people living in the North West region of this city are sick to death of being fucked over by the state government. The whole M2/Epping Road/Lane Cove Tunnel fiasco has been a joke and a diasaster from day one, but instead of admitting it and quitting while they were behind the state government just kept on compounding the problems and those of the commuters.

It's not that people don't like the tunnel, it's that the people have had enough of the blatant manipulation, the poker faced "we're doing this for your benefit" bullshit. Have you driven on the M2 in peak hour? It's a car park, a very expensive car park. And where do you go once you've paid for a visit to this car park? The Lane Cove Tunnel, where you are charged some more of your hard-earned to continue on with your miserable trip.

People are simply voting in the only way they know how: by avoiding it, even if it means going out of their way to use other roads and/or catching the private buses (which use the bus lanes on Epping Road, thus avoiding the Tunnel).

Seriously. The fact that the government employs countless "consultants" (I'm going to start using that word as an insult, as in "you consultant") who are paid a gazillion dollars to write reports of totally no value and then the government acts on these reports, using our money to not only pay for the useless reports but for the capital works which follow. Then everyone is surprised when the population isn't happy.

Blind Freddy could tell that the Lane Cove Tunnel was going to be as popular as Warwick Capper at a feminist convention. Now everyone is acting all surprised. Sheesh!

2009-09-30T18:28:00.003+10:00

Some of you may be wondering what this whole Carbon/Emissions Trading thing is all about. There is certainly a lot of talk about it in the media.

I thought I'd take a moment to give you a practical demonstration of what this will mean to you.

Firstly, take a $20 note out of your wallet, cut it into small pieces, then go and put in your toilet. Flush.

There. You have just found out what the KRudd government is proposing.

Of course the proposed fees/taxes/stealing is aimed at the business world; the awful, evil, horrible, suck the marrow out of little babies business world. You know the business world that doesn't do anything but pollute the environment and rip off all and sundry. So that makes it all OK. Stealing from business is like a Robin Hood-style take from the rich and give to the poor scenario. All good.

Except of course that evil, old business actually employs, well, pretty much most of the adult population of our country. But let's not mention that. While we're at it, let's not mention that all these stupid taxes are going to be passed straight onto us, you and me, the good ol' Australian consumer. So everything we buy is going to directly or indirectly go up in price. Utilities, milk, donuts, tennis lessons. Everything.

Now this might be exceptable if there was any tiny, minescule possibility that this money, this stolen money, was actually going to result in anything beneficial happening for Australia, the planet, the universe, you and/or me and/or our children and grandchildren, etc. Except it won't. Not to the smallest extent.

I believe that so strongly, with every atom of my polluting, evil, Western middle class body that I would bet the value of my house and every cent I have ever and will ever earn on it, should Centabet offer any sort of odds.

Oh FUCK. We're in so much trouble (and I don't mean because of this Climate Change Hoax) and there are very few people with any balls who are willing to talk about it. Most days I am happy to observe from a distance as the population bow and scrape to the naked Emperor but sometimes I want to scream and stomp my feet and throw myself on the floor of the universal Coles supermarket and shout "wake the fuck up".