My blood is running cold

No, I haven't fulfilled my long held ambition and become a vampire.



Not surprisingly what's making my blood run cold is this new carbon price committee being set up by JGill (I really enjoyed typing KRudd much, much more... thanks for nothing Julia).



I knew it was too good to be true that this monumental waste of money would have actually been dead and buried. I suspected it was simply hidden from view during the election run up so that the pollies could just stick to pathetic personal insults instead of discussing any actual policies).



Now that we have Dumb, Dumber and Too Stupid for Words (and the other guy) holding the balance of power it's all systems go and we're screwed.



Yesterday I heard Bob Brown explaining why this committee needed to have secret discussions - because us civilians are simply too stupid to understand all this complicated scientific talk and we need those super smart polies making the hard decisions for us - (it's hard to explain how my frozen blood can be boiling at the same time). At that moment I added an extra segment to my fantasy involving a night of passion with Eric the gorgeous Viking vampire from True Blood. Now there's a bit at the end where instead of lighting a post coital cigarette Eric drags a squirming Herr Brown into the room and rips his throat out.



I want to do Bad Things alright.

The Australian people have spoken...

... and they have ordered both the shit sandwich and the vomit pie, with a large side serve of spanner in the works.

Woo hoo! Let the circus roll on.

To be frank my children predicted this result. As we were walking to our local voting centre yesterday Will said he wanted to vote for Tony Abbott because "he is a man, like me" and Marianna said she wanted to vote for Julia Gillard because "she has straight hair". I couldn't argue with either of those persuasive arguements.

Shit or vomit?

Would madam like a shit sandwich or a vomit pie for lunch on Saturday 21 August?

That's basically our political choices when we face the federal election next week.

I have felt like we've literally been drowning in a sea of piss weak political bollocks these last few weeks and there is no respite in the foreseeable future.

Today we received a brochure from The Climate Sceptics Party in our letterbox at the office and I jumped around like a lunatic shouting "yippee". A tiny voice of reason amongst the white noise of political nonsense. I know they don't have a hope in hell but at least there are people out there trying and I salute them.

The alternative is Mr and Ms Bland with their equally bland and pathetic so-called policies. Shuffling our money from here to there, making policy statements which amount to a whole load of bullshit because there is a more than equal chance they will never see the light of day anyway. A hospital for you, a rail network for you, some token cash for you disability groups... now run along and vote for us but at the end of the day we'll move that money sideways after the election and forget all about you until the next one.

One of the many "policies" which drive me wild is this "stop the boats" crap. I see red whenever that pops onto the teev. Why is all the focus on these poor boat people? Why doesn't anyone talk about the real illegal immigration problems with people coming from the UK and NZ and Europe and Asia by plane and simply outstaying their holiday or student visas? Do you ever hear anyone mention that aspect of illegal immigration? No, it's all "boat people" this and "stop the boats" that. As if that's really the biggest problem this country has anyway! Sheesh! What a smokescreen and a pile of populist rubbish.

As always I start to rant and rave and froth at the mouth in a most unbecoming manner when I start thinking about politics. So I better just stop now and have a cup of tea and a lay down in a quiet room.

He's not the Messiah...

I am wondering today if anyone who voted for KRudd and his Labour Party believing them to be the great white hope/s still clings to any bit of optimism.

If this current refugee situation doesn't crystilise their total sameness and lack of real political balls as compared to the much maligned previous Liberal government than I wonder what will make people wake up.

It's pretty obvious I've never been a fan of Labour, though to be honest that doesn't make me a big supporter of the opposition, I just am by default. I find that there is little real definition in politics. The humanitarian and social issues which are of concern to me don't have much of a voice amongst either side of politics. So I generally loathe all politicans and what the game of politics turns people into.

As I was driving into work today I was just thinking that if some people thought that KRudd was going to offer some sort of "softer", possibly more "human/e" alternative, than they must be mightily disappointed right now. I think I had some small, vague hope too. But the refugee ping pong game continues. Whichever way you look at things, what's happening to those people right now can not be viewed as a humanitarian solution. I have conflicting feelings about refugees, especially the ones we are watching on our news right now, but that topic needs it's own post at another time. All I know is I feel sad and helpless when I see those women clutching their children. How would it feel to be that desperate? I truly can't imagine but in my gut I know that in a parallel universe that could be me and my children.

I need to have a rant. Sorry. You have been warned.

Homosexual marriage has been raised in the media again because apparently the government is thinking of making it legal (I think). The problem is every time they start talking about it on the radio my blood pressure rises and I start mumbling incoherently to myself, making the children worry about my mental health and their own safety (usually this happens in the car).

Why am I so grumpy about this?

Because I can't understand why this didn't fucking happen (many many many) years ago!! Really! What is the problem here?

I've heard it said that legalising gay marriage will weaken the institution of marriage. Why? How? What the fuck?

What is the institution of marriage? Let's be blunt here, marriage is a legal construct designed to make fathers financially responsible for their offspring. Without bothering to do any actual research and relying solely on my piss weak memory I am fairly sure that's how marriage came about. The church got jack of helping women and their bastard children, blah blah blah, and wanted to make men responsible.

These days we are fed the romantic notion of marriage but let's be honest, it is about a legal and social partnership, the romantic part has a co-starring role at best, possibly only a cameo appearance at the beginning of the film (you know those first few months when you spend your whole time bonking and can't imagine a day when you'd seriously rather clean the lint out of your belly button and/or the dryer than have to do that to his thing). But in essence it's a legal unit which clearly shows to our society that this stuff (e.g. children, house, car, jet ski) belongs to these people (i.e. aforementioned married hetrosexual couple).

So what exactly would be weakened? I am truly confused. If the aforementioned couple both happen to have penises or vaginas instead of one of each how does this model become weakened or changed in any way. Surely homosexual relationships are just like hetrosexual ones (except for what happens in the bedroom; you know, which bits go where). How does this one small aspect of their lives affect their entitlement to not only be legally shackled to each other but to indulge in what us hetros take for granted: the wedding itself. For fuck's sake, didn't our forefathers die in the war for our right to spend more than we can afford on weddings involving OTT fashion, overpriced food and alcohol and functions featuring really, really bad dancing? Why should our homosexual cousins be deprived of this rite of passage just because they fancy someone with the wrong sort of genitalia?

Being a non-believer I can not for a second buy into the religious arguement either. I simply can't believe that the hypothetical creator of the universe (including those pesky gay people) would honestly care should they wish to indulge in a ceremony where they pledge their love for each other while wearing ridiculous clothing.

I mean that old "God made Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve" has to be most lame retort against gay marriage in the history of lame retorts. What does that even mean? You can't have it both ways (ha ha) religious people; either everything God makes is good and perfect (in which case so are gay people and their marriages) or everything he makes is imperfect and kind of open to interpretation (in which case gay marriage is OK).

Which brings me to the fact that everything we see and live and experience is a man made construct. We take for granted that life is lived by the rules we experience in our time and in our society. But the reality is that it is people (and not God) who create and adjust and manipulate the social rules by which we live (including those found in the Bible and other religious doctrines). It boggles my mind that people still haul out that old chestnut about "Adam and Steve" when I would defy even the Pope to provide me with a coherent arguement about any true and logical reason as to why homosexual people shouldn't be able to marry. [How absolutely hilarious of the Catholic church, or any Christian church really, to be against such unions when they have been busy buggering little boys in their care for a gazillion years. The hypocrisy!)

In the same way we now can't really imagine how there was a society much like our own which thought slavery was a pretty good thing we will progress to a society where gay marriage is the absolute norm. I am 100% certain of this. I just wish we could bloody well get on with it. I feel I've been listening to the same old stale debate since before I was born. It's dull, it's boring, it's stupid. If a consenting adult wants to marry someone of the opposite sex, the same sex or even a bloody cabbage (a consenting cabbage, of course) then I'm all for it. The world needs more weddings, more divorce lawyers and most importantly more wedding reality tv shows such as Bridezillas (oooh, I'd love a gay version of that). So let's get it together people. Come on Kevin 07, you shit me buddy, but if you can pull this off I'll reluctantly have to sneer just a little less when I see your bobbly little head on the teev.

The End.

I think it had something to do with Obama's recent inauguration that Democracy [is coming... to the USA] was such a standout song at Leonard Cohen's concert on Sunday night. There was such a vibe about the song and throughout the crowd.

There is something about Obama which encourages hope, even in a dried up old cynic like me. Hope is wonderful but when it comes from politicians it is also pointless. It will only lead to tears and bitter disappointment.

I so want to hope that something better [define and discuss] is possible but I just know it's only a matter of time before he is caught selling arms to Iran or in bed with a Brazillian transvestite prostitute and a goat.

It never ceases to amaze me how much bullshit politicians and their henchmen can spout. I mean it really is staggering, isn't it?

On Friday I heard an interview about why they haven't installed mobile phone jamming devices in prisons (after it was discovered a young criminal had been running a huge drug distribution gang from his prison cell via a smuggled mobile phone). Basically the NSW Minister was passing the buck onto the Australian Telecommunications whatever who are in charge of both allowing such things and also letting the equipment be imported into the country.

Apparently they had been trying to get these "allowed" for years but keep going from meeting to meeting to testing to a report to another meeting. Bottom line, nothing has been achieved.

Then the guy from the federal group (as above) rang into the say the ball is in the state's court. Blah blah blah.

The sticking point seems to be that this equipment can "leak" outside of the parameters required (i.e. from the prison onto the streets surrounding it) and cause phone problems for other users. However, in the same conversation we found out that in the US and Europe this equipment is being used in theatres, cinemas (hallelujah, praise the lord) and even hotels (to make clients use the expensive phones provided). A man even rang in and said that Gosford Hospital (right here in NSW) has this equpment working.

Which makes one think that all this political babble is just such a huge steaming pile of SHIT. I mean if one government department can provide this system in a hospital, a large, busy hospital set smack in the middle of a residential area where obviously it isn't jamming local phone services for normal people why can't another government department push the same system into prisons (given the additional fact that most prisons are in fact set further away from residential areas than the previously mentioned hospital).

This is what happens when I actually take a moment to listen to a political interview. My brain starts to hurt and I loose the will to live. I guess that's why I usually avoid listening to such crap. Nothing good can come of it. I just can't believe we're paying these morons with our hard earned tax dollars to behave like this. It's stupid, it's pathetic and it's a downright immoral waste of money which can be better spent in a gazillion other ways.

Don't forget my political "jury style" model. It can't be any worse than this.

The good 'ol Labor government here in NSW today cancelled plans for the proposed North-West train line. I wish someone had taken my bet that it wasn't ever going to happen all those months ago when they first announced it.

I'm not convinced that the other buggers are any better but I really really hope that the residents of this fair state will have had enough of being fucked over by the time the next election rolls around.

I don't know what they've done with all the money but I wish they'd check behind the cushions on the sofa because they have lost a hell of a lot of our cash and no-one seems keen to step forward and accept the blame for this teeny tiny little booboo.

You know my theory that politics should run on a similar system to jury duty, i.e. all adults over 18 get called up to act as a minister for a six month period. So you'd get a letter in the mail stating "Joe Bloggs, you are hereby the Federal Minister for Education from 1 July - 31 December, 2008. Please present at Parliament House Canberra on 30 June."

Sure there is a certain percentage of the population who is illiterate, psycopathic, mentally unstable but surely we can't do any worse.

What the fuck is going on with NSW state politics right now?

It's tough to realise that your underlying fear that politicians are incompetent power seeking bufoons (at best) and downright evil corrupt mafia types (at worst) is the reality. Generally I want to go through life poking fun at the pollies but giving them little thought in my day to day life. I have to say though with what's been happening during the last week or so I am downright afraid of what damage these goons are capable of. It is impossible to believe we have to wait TWO MORE YEARS before the voters of this state can say enough is enough. However it is these same voters who brought back these dickheads at the last election so I am not fully optimistic for the future.

How fucked up will they leave the beautiful state of New South Wales? That is the important question right now.

It's wonderful to be back in blogland. Of course all the things I've been dying to blog about have evaporated from my mind but that's life.

We are connected to the outside world again thanks to my sister donating her wireless gear to us since she is leaving next week for her big, huge, major better-do-this-before-I-turn-30-and-can't-get-a-working-visa-anymore working holiday to Amsterdam. I can't really write too much about this because I'm in total denial and would rather not explore my feelings on this particular subject. So just pretend I haven't said anything.

Anyway, wireless is still the only we can connect to the cyber world because we have obviously chosen to live in a remote area here in downtown Homebush Bay, less than 20 kms from Sydney and within cooee of the Year 2000 Olympic site. Why would I assume that this new fangled internet technology would be accessible to us in this back-of-beyond neighbourhood we've chosen for ourselves. The fact that tin shacks on the side of hills in Phuket can boast ADSL connection is simply of no consequence to Telstra who have a policy of treating their customers with the contempt we so rightly deserve.

So (at the risk of jumbling up a whole lot of whinges in the one thought process) while I am bending over in preparation for what the Labor Party will undoubtedly be doing to us all over the next three years, I invite Telstra to kiss my ass! Pucker up Sol.

When good democracy goes bad:

1) The whole KRUDD fiasco.

Even worse:

2) Natalie winning Oz Idol over Matt Corby.

Sometimes the people just get it wrong. Sometimes a benevolent dictatorship led by moi would be a much better political model. Give it some thought, you'll see the benefits.

SHIT!

Unless you live under a rock or o/s or just don't care (like I wish I didn't) it's Federal election time here in Oz on Saturday. The past few weeks have been like Chinese water torture except with shit instead of water; slow, repetitive drips of crap on our heads, on tv, radio and all forms of media. I really feel like I'm going mad.

I know who I'm voting for on Saturday and I am reasonably comfortable with my decision but only due to a lack of any credible, sensible, logical alternative. I know whowever I vote for the winner will be a politician and that makes me very sad.

I used to have some passion, a certain fire in my belly when it came to politics. Now I have decided I hate them all, every single one. They would each sell their grandmother for a buck or a vote. There are no fierce leaders anymore, possibly there never were, it's possible a certain level of nostalgia clouds our vision of leaders from the past who were fairly certainly sleazy, arrogant bastards just like today's breed.

All I know is that none of the parties truly reflect my thoughts on life, on the things that matter to me. I am simply picking the best of a bad lot. The bottom line is I'm lucky. I'm a hetrosexual middle class woman, most of the political bullshit leans in my favour. Whoever wins or loses nothing much will effect my day to day life. Some tinkering round the edges which I will hardly notice.

At this point I'll just be happy to watch some tv without a hysteria-inducing scare-mongering political advertisement appearing every 30 seconds.

My dad has suggested the next Labor Party recuits from the ABC will be Bananas in Pyjamas.

I haven't laughed so hard for ages.

As suspected Tweedle-dumber won the state election and we're in for another four years of having the piss taken out of us. Seriously what the fuck are they doing with our money? I can only suggest they are using $100 bills for toilet paper in Macquarie Street.

Speaking of winners... No matter who wins tomorrow's election it will be residents of New South Wales who will be the losers. Another 4 years of being f*&ked in the worst possible way by Tweedle-dumb or Tweedle-dumber. Assume the position people.

If you want to know which way I'm voting, I'll just give you this clue. I'm voting on the water issue this time round. I'm pro recycling, anti desalination.