Thursday, August 31, 2006

* Bobby Flynn and Joseph Gatehau got through to the Top 12 from the 3rd semi final. I picked them both. If only I could earn a living from this uncanny gift I have... To be honest I was quite surprised that Bobby got through, I wasn't sure that the OzIdol voting public was ready for someone so very unusual... I guess I should give them the benefit of the doubt more often... nah, what was I thinking. Joseph, while terrible on the night, does have the super cuteness factor working overtime for him. I hope he can show more of his real talent when the performance shows begin.

* The 4th semi-final was generally painful but also surprisingly good. A couple of the girls I didn't remember at all from the auditions: Lydia Denker who performed the dreaded Whitney Houston's "One Moment in Time" and Raechel Lee who performed the much loved Paul Kelly's "I've done all the dumb things".

* Raechel was kind of OK but I couldn't quite figure her out, certainly not a classic voice, just kinda quirky. Not sure if I like it or not, probalby won't get a chance to find out more as she's unlikely to get through in my opinion.

* I loved Lydia, much against my better judgement. Sure the song choice was cheesy but the song is actually very good and she sang it beautifully - a first class example of choosing a song which allows you to really show off your vocal ability. She's also a very beautiful girl in an exotic sort of way. I'm picking her to go through but maybe in the wildcard rounds (see below for those I fear/dread will go through from this round).

* My early favourite Jess Griffin (she of the lesbian mum) did Christina Aguilera's "Fighter", a song I absolutely adore (not only for helping me get through a few dozen Pump classes when I used to go to the gym). Fantastic song but the whole thing was a dog's breakfast. Either Jess was off her nut or she has never performed with a band before. It was like a car accident and as an eye witness I eally didn't know where to look. Oh, the shame. Sadly she doesn't have the Joseph "cuteness" factor to help her through this major stumble. I doubt we'll see Jess again.

* Unfortunately I think I know who will go through from this round but I don't like either of them. "Them" being Lavina Williams (Aretha's "Natural Woman") and Lisa Mitchell (Ben Harper's "Diamonds on the inside").

* Look, Lavina can sing, OK. But she's the Mariah Carey/Celine Dion classic over-singer. Each syllable must be milked for all it's worth and it's simply painful to my ears. I wasn't a fan of her sister's in the previous OzIdol and I'm no fan of hers. However, I fear people love this shit and she'll get through.

* Sadly people (at least the judges) seem to love Lisa Mitchell's shit as well. I honestly feel like I'm in the twilight zone when she performs. To me she sounds (as I've previously mentioned) like the vocal love child of Missy Higgins and Kasey Chambers and you may as well be scraping fingernails down the blackboard as far as I'm concerned. Pure aural torture. I think she ruined a beautiful Ben Harper song and I want her gone (I'm sure she's a very nice young girl though). The judges however are orgasmic each time she performs and to me they sound totally mad. I don't get it. In fact, the way Mark and Kyle leer at this poor girl actually creeps me out. Stop it.

* Speaking of Kyle... the man is a truly dumb shithead (that's mature, isn't it!). He's like the worst judge EVER! When they advertised the beginning of his tenure with OzIdol last year they made it clear he would be the MEAN judge, however, he's turned out to be the piss weak judge. He is so shallow if he was a puddle you wouldn't be able to drown an ant in it. He literally drools at every pretty girl and overlooks their vocal ability or lack thereof as he contemplates his chances of getting them into bed. He is mean to anyone vaguely overweight (which is a huge case of the pot calling the kettle black). And worst of all for a judge on a music talent quest is he has no musical knowledge whatsoever; he doesn't know any song outside the Top 40 from the last 5 years. If it hasn't been performed by Brittney Spears or Justin Timberlake he's never heard of it. He really is a first class dick!

* And while I'm on the subject of judges; Mark is just plain weird and/or mad (sometimes he has moments of clarity allowing one a glimpse of the production genius behind the babble) and Marcia is nice to the point of embaressment (I'm sure she'd say something nice about my singing should such a nightmare scenario ever materialise). I never thought I'd say this but I miss Dicko. What a sad state of affairs!

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

(I'm only talking about all this Idol stuff 'cos there's nothing exciting happening on the personal front - all good right now [well, my grandma is in hospital again but that's sadly getting to be a too regular scenario lately]). Anyway...

The third semi-final:

* Reigan and Jessica got through. As you know I'm a fan of Reigan's, so that was great. However, Jessica is nothing special. I'm sure she's a nice young girl and she has got a good voice but she is young and immature and well, boring. Her song choice was Whitney Houston's "I want to dance with somebody" and you can't get more coma-inducing boring than that. I was sad that Amanda didn't get through but I have hope for the wild card night.

* Bobby Flynn did an very unsual but beautiful version of "Under the Milky Way". After initially thinking "what the...?" I was swept away. He's an odd bod, Bobby. He's a very unusual looking man (is there a chromosome problem here?) but his voice is just so different I couldn't even begin to describe it. I want him to go through if for no other reason than he is just SO not the R'n'B type and he's sure to bring something very left field to all his performances.

* My other great hope was Joseph Gatehau, the beautiful young man with the angelic voice and the cow-like eyes. His nerves and song choice shot him in the foot badly last night. It was so sad to watch. He chose that shite song "Let Me Love You" (I don't know, all that R'n'B rubbish sounds the same to me - I find it hard to recognise without the gyrating bikini girls) and then his voice really shut down, you could literally see his throat constricting. Poor kid. He is so talented but he's going to have overcome his nerves big time to get on. I have faith that he'll get through to the Top 12 but after that...

* Everyone else was just not my cup of tea and I'm trying not to feel a sympathy vote for James Steele... single father, blah blah.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006


* Dean and Damien got through from the first semi-final to the Top 12. I picked them both; if only I could use my powers for good instead of evil... It was probably my single text vote for Damien which tipped him over the edge into stardom. Only problem with Deano that I picked up last night was his "thank you" to the "Lord, my Saviour". You know how it is, that stuff doesn't sit well with me. And he's South African. If only he wasn't so damned gorgeous and talented I could really hate him.

* Last night was the first girls' heat. Very average stuff. But...

* I loved Amanda's version of Pink's "Trouble": I've said it before and I'll say it again - "she rocks". The downside is that she really doesn't have a broad ranging voice so she only has one level of performance which may not see her through the comp.

* Reigan regained some of the ground she lost between the auditon and now with a beautiful version of "I wish I was a punk rocker (with flowers in my hair)". She really has a fabulous voice and is a very pretty girl. Her clothes choice was horrific though - straight out of the Eurovision Song Contest - very wrong and broken. OzIdol stylists take note.

* I was also pleasantly surprised by Klancie's version of "I'm not ready to make nice". Though I do quite like the song I'm no fan of The Dixie Chicks and I was no fan of Klancie's but she swayed me somewhat last night. Don't want to see her go through though. Enough already.

* So I'm hoping for Amanda and Reigan to get up tonight but really can't be bothered voting. There're only so many text messages I'm willing to let my employer pay for in the OzIdol cause.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Personal updates:

* Dentist. Pleasant surprise. They don't seem to use those HUGE needles I remember from my childhood anymore. Just something called a "wand" and it was magical. Just pressed this contraption into my cheek... no pain. Two fillings and two fissure seals later I was out of there with no discomfort and only a tingling lip as evidence of my dental adventure. Oh, and a wallet lighter by $378 (after the health fund rebate, sheesh!) - gee, you wouldn't want to be poor.

* Chili Pepper tickets are in the bag. Great seats too! The Gold Membership to the fan club has paid off - access to member only pre-sale tickets (a REAL pre-sale, not this Visa Card crappola). Now the promoters get to hang onto my hard-earned for 8 months while I sweat on the concert which will be in APRIL 2007. And you go to jail for holding up a bank!

* Planning stages for our holiday to Thailand in October 2007 (well, we like to plan ahead). Have a looky here if you want to join us or just feel jealous: Infinity pools, cocktails under the stars and Kids' Club... here we come!
A few comments on the first Oz Idol semi-final:

* Chris Murphy's version of "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" was truly underwhelming. Call me a purist but you don't mess with this sort of stuff. Didn't suit his style at all. Disappointing. Don't think his chances of making it through are very high at this point.

* Dear, weird Brendon Boney chose one of my fave's "Higher Ground" (Stevie Wonder/Chili Peppers). Personally I thought he did it justice but it is a damned hard song to sing well. I'm afraid this is the last will see of BB.

* Damien Leith's voice makes me think "Jeff Buckley". It's sublime. I think he was nervous last night, slightly diminishing his version of "You are so beautiful" (corny choice, wouldn't have been my pick). I've sent him a vote but hard to know where he'll stand with the tweenies.

* Dean Geyer. He really is THE package. Gorgeous and you know he can really sing too. My sis J is searching around for a bet that this guy will take out the whole comp. I think he's a big chance. Watch this space.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Well, Oz Idol 2006 is here and I'm excited! I know, I know. It's lame and cheesy (apparently my two favourite attributes in a television program) but I can't help loving it. The anticipation each week is so bittersweet: the song choice (will we ever get over Daniel's choice of [cringe cringe] "Rock DJ" in the 2004 Oz Idol?); the clothes; the comments.

So far we've (yes, the Big J is also a fan - I got him hooked on the auditions and now he's in it for the long haul) enjoyed the auditons (three groups: the good, the bad but just doing it to get on tv/on a dare and the crazy [i.e. think they're good but are really really really CRAP]) and now that the two twenty four are chosen we are all geared up for the real comp to start.

I have a few early favourites (but last year my absolute favourite left on about week three so I hope I'm not the kiss of death here):

* Brendan Boney: beautiful voice, great kooky presence, it's just his uncanny resemblence to one of the weirder members of staff at my workplace which makes me feel a tad uncomfortable/sick-in-the-stomach when I see him.

* Joseph Gatehau: sweetness personified, not only has he got the most beautiful cow eyes surrounded by long thick dark cow eyelashes but he sings like an angel and genuinely seems like a sweet young guy. I'm sure he's going to end up being a damned born again Christian like Guy Sebastian but I'll try not to hold that against him.

* Damien Leith: he's "old", he's Irish and his teeth are crooked (can't knock him on that one) so I'm not sure how appealing he'll be to the 14 year old girls but he has a bloody beautiful voice (ok, I was worried sick at his choice of "Hallelujah" for his solo song but he pulled it off beautifully and Jeff Buckley may continue resting in peace).

* Chris Murphy: he's cool and he rocks and he doesn't sing that shit R'n'B nonsense. Let's see what he can do.

* Dean Geyer: he's cute and sweet and can sing. Maybe?

* Amanda Streete: like her voice and her attitude (see Chris Murphy, above).

* Jessica Griffin: has a cool lesbian mum (neither here nor there but there you go), I like her voice and her look, not sure if she can pull off the whole Oz Idol package, fairly sure she can't.

* Reigen Derry: loved her voice in the initial audition but she's been very poor in the second round of the comp, not sure about her right now but hope she follows up on the initial promise.

* Lisa Mitchell: she's not a favourite of mine though everyone else seems to think she's the greatest thing since sliced bread. Her voice is a mixture of Casey Chambers and Missy Higgins and that's not a good combo in my books. She sounds sweet enough but if I had to listen to a whole album I'd hang myself.

I'd put money on a boy winning this year. Let the fun begin.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

I may be biased but... well, you know... cute, etc...

It's been the best day. Textbook family fun at the park. Beautiful, stunning, gorgeous taste-of-Spring Sydney day. Centennial Park and a picnic lunch.

Followed by a small shoe-shopping stopover on the way home. No, not for me. Summer shoes for the kids.

Life is good.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

This morning Will and I had one of those "Telstra BigPond" advertisement moments in the car. I was listening to my old fogey retro station of choice and Donna Summer's Hot Stuff came on. Will loves this song and was busily singing along to it when he turned to me and said "What do Hot Stuff mean?".

Instantly my pea-sized brain began to run around my head like a rat in a maze, searching, searching for an appropriate answer. I hadn't really envisaged explaining the meaning of Hot Stuff to my 7 year old son (that's the sort of question they never ask you at the adoption interviews). Part of me wanted an honest,mature answer but I really couldn't think of anything even vaguely mature so I mumbled something like "... it's something that keeps you warm...".

Luckily by that point Will was back to playing his GameBoy and couldn't care less. But it did underline how hopelessly unprepared I am as a parent for the "big questions" that I'm sure will be coming sooner or later (I was hoping not so soon!).

Strangely enough a few moments later as my brain was still swirling around and flagelating itself for its own inadequacies I overheard Will singing along again and this time he was singing: "Lookin' for some Pa-sta baby this evening...". And I thought "aren't we all, Will, aren't we all?!".
My love of all things reality tv is well documented. A sub-genre of particular interest to me is the SuperNanny-type program which involves completely dysfunctional families being pulled into line by sane and well groomed professionals. Australia has recently Ozzified the British program Honey, we're killing the kids and it is currently one of my favourites. I'll be the first to admit that I love these shows because they are a cheap and totally wrong way for me to feel better about my own parenting.

I can smugly watch these shows, occassionally learn something, but mainly come away with the feeling that I'm not THE worst mother in the world. And that's worth the price of admission alone.

My question about this particular program is: why do they need to film the weekly interview/hand over of the weekly tasks segment in what looks like a converted dungeon. The room inspires thoughts of electrodes on testicles and has very little do with parenting (well, I haven't stooped that low yet). I really can't figure out the purpose of this stark room at either the psychological or entertainment level.

The other thing I can't figure out is the segment which "shocks" the parents by showing them hypothetical photos of their children at the age of 40. This really is schlock of the highest order. I mean most of these parents are totally clueless: their children don't eat right and/or sleep right, they don't function well at school and/or at home, they swear, fight and generally hate themselves and the world. Yet cheesy Photoshop'd photos of their children with a few wrinkles and pouchy jowls turns them into weeping wrecks. I don't get it.
The Big J and I really love our British police murder mystery shows. Cracker, A Touch of Frost, Prime Suspect, etc. The last couple of years we've really been into Wire in the Blood and enjoyed last week's episode which was the start of a new series.

The question must be raised though: is there a disproprionate number of sex related murders in the world? If you watch these sorts of shows (and I won't even touch on the American CSI and Law and Order-style franchises for whom this sort of thing is bread and butter) you would be lead to assume that our cities are jam packed full of horny, clever, seriously depraved maniacs who spend their entire time planning and executing the most horrendous rape/murder scenarios on young women dressed mainly in lingerie.

I would like to see the statistics. I would be willing to bet the majority of murders in our cities are very mundane and very rarely involve lingerie. But I guess a storyline about a guy clobbering his neighbour over a fenceline dispute wouldn't make for very rivetting television viewing.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

If you don't read daily you must do so - immediately.

Here's why:

Stop it, Heather! You're killing me!
I have a new hero and he can be found at . We have only recently become acquainted but I have fallen for him hard and fast. He articulates so much of what is in my brain but I am too lazy, stupid and tongue-tied to fully express myself.

I read what he writes and yell "yes, yes, yes".

Just a tiny taste:

“You may not be interested in war,” said Trotsky, “but war is interested in you.” The Israelis have always grasped that. If war is going to come, why not ensure that it comes at a time and place as advantageous to one as possible? That’s a large part of what’s happening in the Middle East. If you try to avoid confronting Iran now, you’ll only have to confront them under worse circumstances later. Jimmy Carter, who embodied the west as a smiling eunuch, wanted to avoid confronting the newborn Islamic Republic three decades ago and now it’s a nuclear power. As I always say, there is no “stability”: behind the polite fa├žade of the UN peacekeepers patrolling the stalemate, history is always on the move; the bad guys get new weapons, new rockets – and, as we’ve seen in Haifa, these bad guys use what they have to their full extent. So what will they have in five years’ time?

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Since she comes to work with me I thought she may as well make herself useful.

A born multi-tasker, just like her mum.
Some of you may have noticed (humour me) my lack of comment on the axing of my new ex favourite show, "Yasmin is getting married".

I've been too distraught to talk about it.

There is now ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to watch at 7:00 pm. This is my exercise machine time and I need shit TV. My whole evening schedule is completely rooted. I can't possibly wait until the next installment of "Australia's Biggest Loser".

What's a girl to do?

Monday, August 07, 2006

These days anyone can be a celebrity. You just need to go on Big Brother, be a sportsperson, a very poor approximation of an actor or even just get stuck in an underground mine for a couple of weeks. Viola! Instant celebrity.

However, being a STAR is something different. There are so few these days. The main ones I can think of are aging and past their peak (some of the few examples that immediately come to mind are Barbara Streisand, Bette Midler, I'm stretching here... but for me, Cher...). I am talking about multi-faceted, multi-talented stars; people with charisma and genuine, heart stopping, mouth dropping talent. We are talking so far out of the ballpark in comparison to the majority of modern celbs a la Ms Spears, Tara Reid and their cohorts that we may as well be in another universe.

On Saturday night I had the pleasure, the joy, the wonder of seeing such a star live and it was truly awesome. I am talking about Hugh Jackman, the gorgeous, unasuming young man from Australia with more talent in his little finger than the vast majority of Hollywood put together. We had fabulous seats at the much anticipated The Boy From Oz at the Sydney Entertainment Centre and it was very much worth the wait.

There are the two aspects of this show: the sheer spectacle of Hugh Jackman's talent, he can sing, dance, act and hypnotise the audience (and has a mighty fine backside, which I got to admire only two short metres away as he picked a guy on the other side of the aisle from us to dance with him); then there is the magic of Peter Allen's songs which are backbone of this wonderful production.

It is these songs which brought tears to my eyes on more than one occassion and caused my lack of sleep as I tossed and turned after the show. I think Peter Allen is an invisible star to the majority of Australians, with the possible exclusion of 50-odd year old gay men. But hearing his songs again on Saturday night was a little overwhelming for me.

Of course "I still call Australia home" is a well known classic, but possibly more associated with Qantas than with its songwriter. This was a hugely produced number in the show, complete with the Australian Girls Choir and a giant Oz flag. Corny but heartwrenching for a patriotic nutcase like me.

"Don't cry out loud" sung by Colleen Hewitt (who knew she still had it in her) was very powerful. "Once before I go" sung by a lone Hugh/Peter at the very end was just sublime.

But it is "Tenterfield Saddler" which always gets me. I can't quite put my finger on why. Why am I so affected by a very simple song about Peter Allen's family back in Tenterfield?

The Late George Woolnough worked on High Street
And lived on manners
Fifty two years he sat on his verandah
and made his saddles
And if you had questions 'bout sheep or flowers or dogs
You'd just ask the saddler, he lived without sin
They're building a library for him

Time is a traveller
Tenterfield saddler turn your head
Ride again Jackeroo
Think I see Kangaroo up ahead

Thank you Peter. Thank you Hugh. A night that will live in my heart forever.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

It is somewhat appropriate that my 100th Blog Entry is about my children and my struggle to be a better parent.

I was going to do something "special" for #100 but I didn't have a thing to wear and just couldn't be bothered.

So Thursday night saw me attend the first of the Triple P Positive Parenting sessions I had signed up for. Jason and I are keen to learn some techniques which will help us to discipline the children, Will in particular at this point, without screaming like Banshees and banging our heads in frustration. I had heard good things about the Triple P course but hadn't yet had an opportunity to attend a course.

One of the interesting things for me was that all the attendees were mums. I guess that is just the dynamic in families, it is the women who tend to get out there and be pro-active with family issues.

The first session was an introduction and a discussion of the common discipline problems (guilty on all counts, your honour). It was reassuring to know that other families face the same sorts of issues and that we weren't freaks (you know, the sort you see on Super Nanny and think "bloody hell, look at those FREAKS"). The sorts of discipline issues we face with Will, including the sibling rivalry issues, are common, normal even. In fact we would probably be freaks if we didn't experience them.

I am hoping this course will give us ideas on how to manage Will's behaviour in a positive way. So far just thinking clearly about the problems is reassuring in it's own way. We're not supposed to make changes in the first week, just keep a diary. So I'll forgive myself for the fact that I've just yelled at Will for getting all his textas and scissors out and allowing Marianna to cut up one of his workbooks (not a school one, thank goodness).

May the Force be with us.
It's been an up and down sort of week with Yasmin. As you know the first episode saw me fall head over heels in love. It was a real "love at first sight" moment. So it was with great anticipation that I tuned in on night two (Wednesday). It was friggin' awful!!! Not only did they try to weazle extra lots of 55 cents out of the viewers by making them (notice I don't say "us"?) vote twice but Deryn didn't "win".

There were numerous moments of stupidity:

* The three "suitors" waiting anxiously in a "nearby cafe". Oh, come on.

* The first rejected suitor Vincent being taxied to the studio for no other purpose than to have Jean-Claude Van Damme jokes thrown at him. You know how awkward it is when people who have English as a second language try to understand Aussie-isms and vise versa? Obviously the producers caught on very quickly and poor old Vincent disappeared, quite literally, within seconds of arriving.

* The final seconds with baby-faced Peter knocking on Yasmin's new door (yes, she's been whisked off to a glamourous new, inner city pad, her boring-as old aparment being deemed unsuitable - der!) and asking her if she'd consider marrying him and offering her a ring. I realised this wasn't spontaneous romance but tv producer shlock but it was still fairly nauseating.

At this point, end of episode two, I was almost ready to throw in the towel. My disappointment would have regisered on the Reichter scale. From the highs of the night before I was now crashed on the jaggered rocks of some new found lows.

But I braved it for episode three (Thursday). Again, disappointment.

* Peter and Yasmin go on a date to The Aquarium. BORING! This date seems to bring out their most inspid characteristics and it doesn't make for rivetting television entertainment.

* Peter apparently tells Yasmin she has "gummy teeth" and a "nasally voice". Gee, you old smoothie. Nothing like pointing out a woman's obvious less attractive physical characteristics to cement the romance. We just love that, don't we girls? I told you he was a dud, but did anyone listen?

* For some unfathomable reason Yasmin takes Peter shopping for wedding invites. The wedding planner drops a classic, asking Peter what it feels to be picking out wedding stationery for another man.

* Yasmin decides to cut her losses and gives Peter his ring back, hedging her bets by asking if she can call him in a few weeks if she gets desperate, I mean, if she realises he was really the one for her. Bad move Yasie baby. You'd need to be "last man on earth" desperate to give Peter another call.

* Show ends with three new guys being shown (pics and brief bio only) and the panel choosing her new date. What happened to the voting? I was a bit confused by this twist but somewhat reassured that the audience wasn't going to have to vote every single step of the way.

* The girls chose peirced boy Byron. I have to say he wouldn't have been my pick but Episode Four proved me wrong, oh so wrong...

Last night's episode rekindled my love which was now just a shadow of its former self. Byron is perfect and if Yasmin doesn't marry him immediately (bugger waiting the requisite 59 days) I may have to marry him myself (is polygamy legal in this country or will we all have to move to Utah?). I don't want to jinx the whole situation by waxing lyrical about it all too soon so I'll end by saying "don't screw it up Yasie and please don't turn out to be a psycho Byron". Looking forward to Monday.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Oh, the joy of reality tv. No sooner is one show history (Big Brother who?) than another takes its place in my affections.

Dear friends, welcome... "Yasmin is getting married".

I watched the first episode last night on the premise of "seeing how it goes". I'm not one to rush into commitments with unknown tv programs. I like to ease in, playing it cool, not showing my cards too soon. Well, 10 minutes into "Yasmin" all my cards were on the table... I was in love.

No, not with Yasmin. In fact she seems like the weak link so far but I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt for now. I love the format and I love Jo Staney (the host) and the panel (two guys of questionable pedigree, but bloody funny, and one matronly marriage counsellor who adds the sensible note to proceedings). A perfect combo.

Highlights of last night's episode:

Peter. Who must have repeated how "social" he was about 50 times. Warning bells! This man wants to party, baby... marriage, mortgages and babies are about as appealing to him as dropping an anvil on his toe.

Vincent: Oh, be still my beating heart. It's true you can say almost anything ("Your BO is the most disgusting thing I've ever smelt!") and it sounds damn sexy with a French accent. Vincent is a classic French smoothie... and he's a Pastry Chef to boot. He made Yasmin a chocolate Cinderella shoe with Yasmin written on it surrounded by chocolate covered strawberries decorated as tiny tuxedos. Too too too cute. But as one of the panel said: "What good is a chocolate shoe? He might as well make her a custard hat." And I'm sure that's just what he's hoping for.

Athan: The body builder giving her a box containing little hand weight thingies. At least it didn't contain Gwyneth Paltrow's head, as one of the panel suggested.

Adam: First class wanker. You must be kidding.

Deryn: My vote. Nice. Maybe too nice. Possibly he's a psychopathic mass murderer and they'll find body pieces wrapped in plastic in his freezer. But I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt for now. Go Deryn!

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Jamie won. There is no god.

At least one mystery was solved. Who did he remind me of? The voice? The way of speaking? Derek Zoolander. Frightening. (Answer found on the Merrick and Rosso Breakfast Show on Nova FM this morning.)

It is always a weird sort of anticlimax when Big Brother is finished. As soon as the finale show starts so does that sinking feeling. It's all much ado about nothing at that point.

And there was certainly much ado last night. It's a lesson in how to drag approximately 10 minutes of entertainment into a three-odd hour "spectacular". Note to BB producers: less is more, people... less is more.

First a note about Gretel. I like the woman, no two ways about it. She's a fabulous older woman, gutsy and strong minded, on prime-time television. That's enough to like just there. But she really needs to stand up to those wardrobe people. Mostly they are not doing her any favours and last night was a prime example. A shiny silver ball gown and silver eyeshadow. No good. It was overdone by a long shot and the make up seriously made her look older (and no-one needs that, perhaps Nikky Webster?).

Then there was the horrendous bit of entertainment known as ex-housemate Danielle singing "Under the Radar" with the Big Brother "All Stars" doing the back-up dancing. Beyond silly. I don't have the vocabulary to describe how stupid it was. If I was the ex-housemates I would be checking and double-checking the fine print in my contract to make sure they really could make me do that shit. Obviously it was a very tightly worded contract.

Then there's Katie. All I have to say after seeing her last night is she must be missing a chromosome. Nothing else would explain the way she talks, acts and the sub-human look she gets on her face when she drops her jaw in that particular way. Jamie is no catch but I have to say "good luck, buddy".

What was most scary for me was the dream I had last night following the finale. It involved me and Jamie... no, god no, not like that. I had also been in BB and had been evicted (?) last night. Jason, the kids and I AND Jamie were all staying in the one hotel room after the final show. Jason and I kept tidying up and Jamie wouldn't help. I kept saying "see, look how lazy he is!". Then we decided to go home and I kept saying to Jamie "we'll be in Perth at Christmas time, we'll catch up then". I woke up with a horrible feeling and feeling quite disgusted with myself. I hope it isn't a premonition about actually seeing Jamie when we are in Perth. Sheesh, what a way to ruin a perfectly good holiday.

PS: "Big Brother Showdown 2006- Team Fag Hag vs. Team For God Sakes Pull Up Your Damn Pants" This is the funniest description of last night's finale I've seen (on