I can't cope with what passes for news these days. Whether it's tv, radio or newspapers, it's all absolute, total, unrelenting bullshit. Seriously I'm as cynical and bitter as the next person, probably more so, but how do these people live with themselves.

It's either blatant advertising, such as the so-called "Store Wars" whereby David Jones and Myer battle over the fashion stakes. Really people NO ONE CARES. There are no wars. There is just a lot of hot air aimed at getting suckers like yours truly into the department stores to buy poor quality, over priced "fashion essentials".

Or it's hysterical non-news like speculation on interest rate rises. Have you noticed how they love to beat up this story. They start at least a week before each month's Reserve Bank meeting, interviewing a whole range of know-nothing industry "experts" who basically have a 50-50 chance of getting it right. They predict the fall of modern civilisation at the merest suggestion of a rate rise and talk to all the poor over-mortgaged home owners (with their large screen tvs in the background) who may have to give up the odd Thai take away to make ends meet. The disappointment on the faces of the tv news presenters when there is no rate rise is heart-breaking.

Now we have to brace ourselves for around three months of election babble. The thought of it makes me break out in a cold sweat. If only all the politicians and the news editors could spontaneously combust - oh, the relief. To dream the impossible dream....