I can hear the groans from around the world.
Oh no, Sweet Baby Jesus, she's really going to do it.
Because you're either with us or against us and if you're against us then February is not going to be a happy month for you here in Chez Deep Kick.
So without any further fanfare may I present the first Fawlty Towers' quote of my choice (there will be 27 more, in no particular order).
Enjoy... or not.
From: A Touch of Class (the first episode of the first series, broadcast 19 September, 1975)
Sybil: I don't know why you wanted to hire him, Basil.
Basil: (sitting at typewriter) Because he's cheap and keen to learn, dear. And in this day and age such....
Sybil: But why did you say you could speak the language?
Basil: I learnt classical Spanish, not the strange dialect he seems to have picked up.
Sybil: It'd be quicker to train a monkey.*
* This is one of my favourite quotes and I use it, and variations of it, on an almost daily basis. Try it... it's so satisfying.