Well, the last post finished abruptly because I ran out of time and planned to return to it to finish it off but the end of last week sucked so I didn't bother.

To be blunt last Friday I "hit the wall" with our second adoption. I got some news that we still have a few months to wait (after already waiting 19 months since our papers were sent + 15 months for the actual adoption approval process - at this point we are 34 months from the day we lodged our initial paperwork to start this adoption) and I blew a gasket. I did this in a very similar way when we were waiting for Will so I recognised the symptoms. All logic, common sense and perspective goes out the window and a horrible sense of self-pity, anxiety and doubt settles in. Tears follow. Then the realisation of how selfish and self-absorbed you are being, how there are people with "real" problems in the world, blah blah blah. Then more tears follow as you think about what a terrible person you are. Then you think some more about how "unfair" (as if you know anything about unfairness) this horrible long wait is, how your life is on hold and how you're becoming a terrible, whinging fishwife and making everyone around you hate you. Then you cry some more. Then you think about London and the poor people who have lost their lives and their families who have lost loved ones and about how much you despise the terrorists and their patheticness and their viciousness and their total devoidness from humanity. Then the tears turn to sobs. That was pretty much Friday in a nutshell.

Needless to say I didn't get much work done and made my poor, beautiful sister very anxious with my carry-on. Thanks for putting up with crappola, Jules.

Thanks also to my dear friend Claire who caught the end of the my bad Friday when I stopped by her place on my way home to unload a little on a fellow adoptive mum. The bottom line is that only adoptive parents really understand other adoptive parents, especially when it comes to the actual adoption process and the WAIT. It can not be truly comprehened by anyone else, no matter how close a friend or family member. Also, thanks to Marlene who rang me on Friday night and listened to some more of sad-arse whining.

Of course thanks also to Jason for putting up stoically with my unbearableness and my demented ranting and raving. He really is my rock (I said ROCK, Jay) and I don't know what I'd be doing without him.

Saturday I awoke feeling somewhat more human and with my perspective on life back in gear (maybe not in high gear but kicking in, nevertheless). It was a very productive morning with Jay and I clearing out the junk room (aka the guest bedroom). It is amazing how no matter how many bedrooms you have there must always be one room that accumulates crap. Since we've been in this house (4 years) that room has been the smaller bedroom which is now the [EMPTY] baby's room. A few months ago we pulled out all the stops and got that room prepared. May I say it is a lovely baby's room and all it needs now is a baby.

However, the aforementioned crap was then distributed to the large and quite gorgeous front bedroom which has always been our guest room. This crap was then added to when I took on the job of fundraising co-ordinator for our adoptive families support group ACC (Australians Caring for Children - www.accau.org ). This involved taking custody of boxes full of miscellaneous "stuff". So our own crap with the addition of the ACC stuff added up to one hell of a mess. I lived in dread should someone ask to stay the night as the bed could not be seen and it was almost impossible to even access the bed from the door. It was a major disaster.

So we got stuck in and we did it! A van full of stuff went to the tip (is there anything which typifies male bonding more than a father and son trip to the tip?). A van full of stuff went to St Vinnies and a half dozen items went to the mysterious place known as "under the house". There are still some boxes and bits and pieces in the room but it is now a tidy room. The bed is not only visible but completely free of crap. It is ready for guests - any takers?

After all that hard work we had a much too big for lunch lunch at Tony Roma's in the city. It is right near Jason's office and was one of his favourite haunts when he worked with Gavin but since Gavin moved onto bigger and better things Jason hasn't been indulging in all those ribs nearly as often. So I guess he was missing them when he suggested TR's for lunch. Look it was OK but I'd still prefer yum cha.

After lunch I dropped the boys off in Paddington - they were going to the football (Rugby League this time) to see Cronulla (Jay's team) get whipped by Souths (contenders for the wooden spoon). Not a good result and Jay was not a happy chappy when I picked the boys up later in the evening. I spent the time shopping and having coffee with my dear sister so I got the better end of that deal.

The only thing that salvaged the day for Jason was coming home and watching the Swans on TV. Not only did they play superbly but they very convincingly beat Geelong who are above them on the ladder, thus giving us hope that they can make and stay in the top 4 as we go into the finals season.

Sunday was an enjoyable day starting with golf for Jason (best score ever apparently) and cooking for moi. Our good friends Aila, Craig and Craig's daughter Madison, as well as Paul, Natalie and their two girls, all joined us for lunch. It was lovely. Good food and good friends, can't ask for more than that on a Sunday afternoon, can you?

Jules dropped in to take Will to mum's so we decided to go to see Bewitched. Yes, I know ... but we love Will Ferrell so we wanted to give it the benefit of the doubt. We shouldn't have. Very few movies have NO redeemable features - this is one of them. It wasn't even BAD (which may have given us a giggle at its "badness") it was just nothing. It was so poorly written it was laughable (which was the only thing that was). Will Ferrell was so funny in Saturday Night Live and I loved him in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back and Old School and even Anchorman but he was totally neutured in Bewitched. As someone who is interested in scriptwriting I find it truly mind-blowing that someone could present such a lame script and have it produced into a major, multi-million dollar Hollywood movie. It is truly an insult to scriptwriting and movie making.

So now it's Tuesday morning. I'm at the office waiting for Jules to turn up with Will. I miss him so much, even when he's only been away a day and a half. Can't wait to see him.

Before I sign off a big congratulations to my cyber friend Julie and her husband Marc who have just been been allocated a baby boy from Guatemala. I don't know any details yet as it is early days at the moment but I'm so very happy for them. I hope all goes well with their adoption process and that their little son is son home.