Thought you may be missing my Big Brother comments... so here are some more...

Well, the unthinkable happened... no, Jamie didn't put on trousers that secure around his waist... no, Jamie didn't put on a shirt... ROB WAS EVICTED. Despite my SAVE ROB votes, despite my EVICT JAMIE votes (yes, I know I've gone too far, way way too far) dear Rob was shown the BB door last Sunday night.

Rob was pretty much the only one I was enjoying watching last week. He speaks his mind when it comes to the fine-fest stupidity in the house (they are down to $280,000 in prize money!!!!!), he likes a bit of cleanliness (a concept most of the other dropkicks in the house find totally alien; obviously that's mumsy's job) and he has the best hair and he's a Super Bitch.

So now he's gone and .... [this is where my first draft ended last Saturday night]

Shock, horror... I stop to get petrol on Sunday morning and casually pick up the Sunday paper. What the...? John and Ash's dumb young faces are plastered all over the front of my husband's employer's publication with the words "Sexual Assault" in the same general vicinity. For those who've been under a rock the aforementioned J and A were apparently involved in a "turkey slapping" incident with Camilla. They were subsequently asked into the Diary Room by BB, never to return.

Obviously yours truly HAS been living under a rock because I had never heard the term "turkey slapping" before and after finding out what it entails I never want to hear it again. Some things are better left to the younger generations.

Since then a fully formed, but hopefully short lived, moral panic has ensued with everyone from the prime minister down calling for Big Brother to be banned. For f's sake what is going on here? Since when do we call for things to be banned in this country? I'll be the first to say that BB is a bloody awful, mind-bogglingly stupid television program, but I enjoy it (as do many other people, judging by the ratings... and all of us dumb people can't be wrong!). Sure the "incident" examplifies how BB's criteria for being a housemate is that their shoe size must be bigger than their IQ. But banning television programs is just not on. I mean that's what remote controls are for.

If anything this whole storm in a tea cup should be telling the producers of Big Brother that it might not be such a fantastic idea to almost exclusively populate the house with immature young buffoons. Sure they might be sexy (??) in purely blatant physical ways but very few of them is attractive in a human way. I think the producers are way too preoccupied with the idea that it's 12 year old girls who vote and thus the housemates must be somehow appealing to them but I really think they underestimate the older audience and also the capacity of the younger audience to appreciate and enjoy watching more intelligent, mature, well-rounded characters (e.g. the popularity of David this year and previous winners and runners up - not a moronic buffoon amongst them, OK... there's Reggie...).

Like sands through the hourglass... so are the days of Big Brother.