So, Trinny and Susannah on Wednesday night.

Look (whenever I start the sentence with "look" you know it's not great news) I love these birds. They are fantastic at telling women what's what when it comes to basic dressing for your figure. I so agree with them that women tend to hate a certain feature of their body and dress in shapeless shit which just makes them look a whole lot worse. They are also big (excuse the pun) on well fitting bras, as I am.

The night itself was so-so. First of all there was a lot of milling around - we were asked to arrive by 6:10 pm, yet we didn't actually sit down until around 7:00 pm. Then we were "entertained" by someone called Amy Pearson - boring. Then some so-called "stylist" called Fifi played dress up dolly with an eight foot tall model by "accessorizing" her sleeveless dress with shit like long red gloves, a big wooly scarf and an awful shimmery trench coat with elbow length sleeves. I hate to ask the bleeding obvious questions but if it's cold enough to wear a fucking trench coat surely it's cold enough to wear a long sleeve top underneath and do you want to have long sleeves sticking out from under your coat sleeves? Maybe I'm just missing the point. I'll be the first to agree I'm not a fan of what passes for high fashion.

Anyway... finally the girls themselves turn up. They are fabulous. But not for the feint hearted. Susannah launches into a tirade involving having her period and wondering if she's starting menapouse. She then takes off her knickers on stage to demonstrate their own brand of "magic" knickers.

Then they tell us about three Oz women they "did" and we see a short video of the "before" for each woman and then they come out on stage all done up. It's always an "aaaaahhhh" moment but really, how hard is it to take someone who wears jeans and t-shirts every day, no make up and hasn't had a decent hair cut in years, give them a basic make over and dress them in a half decent dress which suits their shape and put them in some heels. Of course they are going to look fucking amazing. For me the harder trick would have been to come up with a smarter day-to-day wardrobe for the farmer's wife from rural Queensland.

Of course their finale is always getting victims out of the audience for their "treatment". They picked 5 ladies from the rows in front of us (luckily didn't get up to our row). It's amazing how quickly they can look a woman over and give an analysis of where her fashion sense is letting her down. As I said earlier so many women are just tenting themselves up in clothes way too big to cover up bits they don't like, in the process making themselves look much bigger and bulkier than they actually are.

In conclusion I can only say I love T & S, they rock. What I wouldn't do for a day out shopping with these girls... even better if they were paying.