In celebrity news:

Did you see Toni Collette on the Emmy's last night? Talk about when good fake tan goes bad. She looked horrific, seriously. She was so gold, head to toe, she actually looked like an Oscar statuette. I love Toni (she'll always be Muriel to me) but she really looked awful.

Did you see Hugh Jackman pontificating about climate change on the news this morning. I love you Hugh; you're gorgeous and talented. But seriously shut the fuck up on this shit. You're just shovelling shit onto a pile which is very deep already.

I'll just sit back now and wait for Entertainment Tonight to call me about that job offer....