Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Fantasy is better than reality (der!):

Example 1: Parenting

In my pre-children parenting fantasies things were very different. My children and I would have a beautiful relationship. They would telepathically understand me and want nothing more but to follow my instruction and please me, because by doing so we would all live in a harmonious wonderland. They would be beautifully behaved and enjoy doing the things I wanted them to do, when I wanted them to do those things. We would be friends, walking hand in hand along life's meandering path.

I saw the so-called parents in the supermarkets with their screaming, misbehaving children and I would think "oh those poor fools, if only they parented correctly, like I will, these horrible scenes would be totally unnecessary". I would see friends eagerly planning their nights out and weekends away sans children and I would say to Jason "if they are so desperate to get away from their children why on earth did they have children in the first place?". I honestly could not imagine ever wanting to be parted from my (hypothetical) children for a millisecond and I could not understand why people lucky enough to have children would not want to be with them every possible moment.

My perfect children would eat only organic food, lovingly cooked each day. They would play beautifully together and with their equally intelligent, well behaved peers. Oh, the fantasies that filled my empty head in those blissfully ignorant days. I was so friggin' smug and contemptuous of the failings of all other parents. Ha! How very little I knew and understood.

Example 2: Men

Maybe it's just me but I do spend more time than reasonably necessary fantasising about (mainly) Robbie Williams, (ocassionally) Jesse White (yes, I know! 21 I should be ashamed and I am...) and (once in a while) assorted others. Don't get me wrong, I am happily married, nothing wrong on that front. Just my mind likes to wander...

In these fantasies it's all glamour, gorgeous bodies (look, they are bloody fantasies OK!), fun and lashings of witty banter.

The sad part is there is no celebrity in the universe whose perceived sexiness translates into reality. You know that life with Robbie Williams would be just as dreary as any other reality. There would be farting in bed, morning breath, insecurity, bickering over stupid things, you get the idea...

Example 3: Holidays

I love planning holidays. I day dream about the beautiful beach, the warm weather, the delicious food, the children frollicking in the sand. Whenever we plan a holiday I spend a lot of time looking at photos of the resort on the internet, drifting off in a mental cloud of pleasure as I transpose myself into these airbrushed pictures.

Because I am addicted to organising often our family holidays are planned up to a year in advance, which gives me ample time to think and dream about the upcoming trip. I love love love this phase of the holiday; the pre-holiday phase.

The reality of our holidays is generally different. The reality involves waiting in airports for hours on end with children who don't know the meaning of sit still for a bloody second. Unpredictable weather, often resulting in being stuck in holiday units with bored children during torrential downpours. Expensive restaurant food which the children won't eat for totally mysterious reasons (but they always eat pasta/rice/nuggets and chips). Exhausting return trips which mean feeling wrecked for a week once we are home again. Holiday? What holiday?

Have you got an example of why fantasy is better than reality?

1 comment:

Kath Lockett said...

Cheesecake. Moist, glistening, inviting, creamy, decadent, delicious.
Post Cheesecake. Stomach ache, feels like I ate a brick, guilt, plaquey teeth, sugar rush, spike in cholesterol levels.....