Last night as I was watching the BB Surprise Eviction, during which that non-entity Chris (he of the "I hate fat chicks with confidence" comment) got his much overdue marching orders, I contemplated the sad/happy/whatever reality that by this next week Big Brother would be over for another year. The way I feel right now I know I couldn't care less if I ever watched Big Brother again (well, you know, after the next week's finale, of course!) but I know in just a few short months I'll be saying things like "I wonder when the new Big Brother will start?" and "I wonder what sort of buffoons they'll have on Big Brother next year.". This is the nature of my stupidity and obsession.

Currently there is the problem that I don't want any of the last four to win.

There's Max who seems like a nice enough Italian mama's boy but he's only been there for two weeks and it seems hardly fair that he gets the "big bucks" after such a short stint of BB torture.

Then there's Camilla who is probably too much like yours truly to be likeable. Sure I admire aspects of her "shove my opinion down your throat whether you like it or not" personality, sure I admire her ability to argue someone down to the point of collapsing in a foetal position in the corner and crying for their mummy. What's not to admire? But she has recently taken to fawning in a disgusting and unappealing manner to David, who did start off as her friend but has drifted between "best friends" constantly througout the last three months and managed to alienate everyone, including the two-faced Camilla. If they say "I love you... no, I REALLY love you" to each other one more time I will have to be sick.

Which brings us to David. He's gay. Tick. He's amazingly, eye-wateringly good looking. Tick. His blue eyes almost, just almost, take away from the fact that he genuinely says things like "Grouse", "Beaut" and "Bloody Oath" without an ounce of irony. But he is just way too earnest, patronising and good with a capital "G". I am sure I would either be his best friend or hate him to the point of murder should we ever live in the same house. If a gun was held to my head I'd probably prefer him to win but really, I don't know...

... like, you know... there's always Jamie. I nearly had a brain explosion when I realised that Jamie was in the final four. I mean how does that happen? The man with the pants which defy the laws of physics, the world's ugliest, most annoying and totally unnecessary headband, no shirt and the overwhelming urge to admire and tune himself in every mirror and shiny surface he passes has survived to the final week. If he wins I will definitely, with full certainty know that there is no justice in the world (because the wars, starving children, unpunished criminals and AIDS epidemics just haven't convinced me so far).

So stay tuned, for next week you will read my final 2006 Big Brother comments and, you have been warned, there will be no more until next year! You will just need to entertain yourselves with my Oz Idol comments in the meantime. Aren't you eternally grateful for reality television?