Last night as Marianna was falling asleep she sat up and said "Mum, when will we visit Nury?".
She often talks and asks about her birthmum but this time it shook me up a little. There was something about her tone and expression which made me wobble. Usually I'm very cool and unemotional about these conversations. I've always thought I am comfortable with the idea of my children's birthmothers. They are part of our family, whichever way I want to emotionally deal with them.
But last night I felt an emotional tug I hadn't experienced before. I can't quite put my finger on it; what it was and why it turned up last night, unannounced.
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Oh. Sometimes I wonder if it's just the timing of such questions or comments. To the child it's just something that pops in their minds and is rapidly forgotten but for us they're things that can grab hold of our hearts and squeeze them - either harshly or softly....
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