Just when you think you're scraping the absolute bottom of the bucket reality tv-wise (e.g. Strange Love) you realise that this bucket is truly bottomless. Halleluiah, praise the Lord ... for Kept, the riveting series highlighting the trials and tribulations of a bunch of wannabe, currently unemployed actors (how else would you explain it) all vying to become Jerry Hall's kept man.

I really can't see how things can get any worse (better?) on the reality tv front. A series about a man looking to marry the duck of his dreams? Teams of celebrities competing to build the best mansion out of human excrement? Politicians, electrodes attached to their genitals, attempting to prove that they wouldn't sell their grandmother for a vote? The mind boggles.

Thank you TV1. You alone are worth the price of cable tv.