Thursday, August 13, 2009

I know I've written previously about people being able to have relationships with any (consenting) animal, vegetable or mineral but I would like to discuss consent and who the animal, vegetable or mineral is in this particular story.

Woman getting married to fairground ride

Amy Wolfe, a US church organist who claims to have objectum sexuality, a condition that makes sufferers attracted to inanimate objects, plans to marry a magic carpet fairground ride.

This follows a "courtship" of 3,000 rides over ten years with the 80ft gondola ride called 1001 Nachts.

Miss Wolfe, 33, from Pennsylvania, will change her surname to Weber after the manufacturer of the ride she travels 160 miles to visit 10 times per year, according to reports “I love him as much as women love their husbands and know we’ll be together forever,” she said. [Well, unless "he" decides to run off with the merry-go-round or the ferris wheel, you know how fickle these magic carpet rides are.]

Miss Wolfe first fell for the ride when she was 13: “I was instantly attracted to him sexually and mentally." [Who wouldn't be!]

“I wasn’t freaked out, as it just felt so natural, but I didn’t tell anyone about it because I knew it wasn’t ‘normal’ to have feelings for a fairground ride.”

Ten years later, she decided to go back to Knoebels Amusement Park to declare her love. She now sleeps with a picture of the ride on her ceiling and carries its spare nuts and bolts around to feel closer to it. [I can't see anything at all wrong with this paragraph.]

She claims to believe they share a fulfilling physical and spiritual relationship and does not get jealous when other people ride it. [Look, who am I to judge. Going by many of the men I've encountered this magic carpet ride is probably capable of more emotional depth and certainly would be able to last longer in the horizontal folk dancing department. Good luck to them, I say.]

Although she faces discrimination from employers, most of her family and friends have been supportive. “I’m not hurting anyone and I can’t help it," she said. "It’s a part of who I am.”

So there you go. Maybe not the cabbage I have theoretically referred to in previous posts but an inanimate object nevertheless. The world is a strange and wonderful place, full of strange and wonderful people. I wish them every happiness.

1 comment:

Kath Lockett said...

There was a series of stories about these people (mostly all women) who are sexually attracted to large, man-made constructions (do the last three words of this sentence do anything other than cause you to say, "Ah, well yes.")

Some chick likes to like the Eiffel tower and another one is 'into' the Space Shuttle but I can't remember where I read about it!

Love the idea of the Roller Coaster Rogerer carrying about 'spare nuts and bolts' to feel closer to her loved one! Imagine if we suggested that to J and Love Chunks!