Our Anniversary Weekend:

The Good

* Getting picked up in a private car from Melbourne Airport by my dear husband and a uniformed chauffer named Theo.

* The hotel. The Melbourne Grand Hyatt is great and being on the executive floors makes it even better. Not that the rooms are any better but you get to use the Executive Lounge on Level 31 which is where you go for breakfast away from the unwashed masses (not sure how many of the unwashed masses stay the Grand Hyatt) and where you go for drinkies and canapes after 5:30 pm. Wonderful service, great views and complimentary (almost up there with SALE in my vocabulary hierachy) food and drink. Bring it on!

* The tennis. The Men's Final on Sunday night was amazing. The atmosphere was electric and most of the crowd was on the side of super cute Frenchie Jo-Wilfried Tsonga (Second = WINNER in my book, sweetie). Who wouldn't love a face like this:



















(I tought him everything I know about tennis... luckily he ignored that and learnt to play properly!)

* The food. We got lucky with our eating out (I guess a bit of internet research didn't hurt). Saturday night dinner at Gingerboy in the city. Really fabulous food, great cocktails (my Gingerboy Iced Tea was superb) and a very funky atmosphere with just right service. Sunday yum cha at Red Emperor. Wow this sucks! How can my new favourite yum cha place be in Melbourne? That's just not right. But this place is very very good. The garlic prawn dumplings are the best I've ever had. Both highly recommended.

* The movie (yes, we managed to squeeze in a 2 hour + movie between the Women's Final and dinner on Saturday evening). No Country for Old Men was vintage Coen Borthers. I was annoyed by the non-ending but got used to it after a bit of perculating through the grey cell department. It's not Raising Arizona but it's damn fine as it is.

* The friends. Got to see Big Jay's brother T, his wife A and their little fella A. They are always good fun and good value. Love you guys! Also enjoyed yum cha with two other families we know through our Guatemalan-born children. While we don't see them often it's always great fun when we do (and then there's email for the in-between years).

The Bad

* The food at the Australian Open. Are you havin' a larf? Is he havin' a larf? Someone's having a fucking laugh, that's for sure. There is a conspiracy going on in this country and it involves sporting venues, food outlets and stealing money from a captive audience. Never mind committees investigating petrol price fixing and whether or not supermarkets are fucking us over on a daily basis (they are!). What about an investigation into the price and quality of food at sporting venues? Where do you stand on that KRudd?

* People are rude. Do I need to go on? Well, OK. They push in, yell out and generally behave in ways guaranteed to piss off all those around them. Hey, guess what? Acting like you are the only person who matters is not cool!

The Ugly

* The heat. Saturday's afternoon match was almost unbearable. If the Women's Final had gone to three sets I would have had to leave. While our seats were great view-wise, they were horrific heat-wise. I really felt like the ant under the proverbial magnifying glass. I don't recall being so hot and uncomfortable.

* The three pissed cows. The three seats on our left were occupied by a trio of 50-something women who loved their tennis (had been at the Open for the last 10 years) and equally loved their cheap vino. They arrived tipsy and quickly got fully blotto. Each to their own, I say, but when you're so pissed you ask me the same question 20 times ("is it SONGA and T-SONGA?" and "look, there's Sting") and slur in my face with your alcohol soaked breath, then I start to get the urge to smash your stupid drunk head on the concrete steps over and over until YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!